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Friday, June 03, 2005

Because Everyone Else Is

I'm getting a little tired of my job. Not the live action part of it, but all the rest. In getting into my line of work, I never imagined that the actual performance part would weigh so little in the day-to-day operations of this industry. I guess in the bigger picture, I am in "Show Business", and I am noticing now the sad lack of Show or Business in it. It is as gossipy as any other industry, an irony in the sense that this, above any other, likes to hold itself in the highest of regards and feels it to be the coolest of the cool. I wonder how cool mechnaics gabbing about car engines seems to the outider? Likely lame. Well, we are all mechanics. This behaviour exist in many places, even the palacial domains of entertainment.

I am no better, I should say. I am a part of it, too. Look at this manifesto. I'm not sure if this is dripping irony or hypocrisy, but drenched in truth it is. I like to know what's going on. I like to hear the stories. I do. It's part of the fun. However, at the end of the day, it's just stories, and the only reason I do what I do is because I enjoy what I do so much, and nothing much else matters in that context. I hope everybody enjoys it, too.

So, I don't consider myself anymore a voice of reason that the rest. Who knows how one defines correct beahviour anymore. I have learned this: Ones' focus in ones' own direction is damn difficult to avert, and the time has come to fix my eyes elsewhere.


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