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Sunday, June 19, 2005

Calgary

I spent the weekend in Calgary. A stealth visit. I wanted at first fanfare and excitement, but after arriving, realized I wanted something quiet and peaceful - a time to reflect on where I am and where, oh where, I am going. It worked well. To those whom I neglected to see, I feel a tad of remorse, but I needed this. My batteries were low.

I went to my old comedy club and ran into one of the agents with whom I have a history. It usually was tense in my head with her, but it went well. She saw in me a growth that I thought only I had seen. It was very nice to hear, and for the first time, I felt as if the seeds I've sown are blooming. It appears all the difficulty and trauma of the last few years may indeed have had meaning, and now, more than ever, I feel the sensation to follow this path, as murky as it may seem.

I ran into an old figure in my life, a rather seminal one at that. One that I brushed aside in my psyche and chose not so much to forget, but to move past, to move forward in spite of some temporary diffulties.

It was 5 years ago and I was a diffirent man. Maybe even a boy, still. I was fresh in my endeavors, innocent in my intents, and more of a sober man than I am today. I was, although me, a younger me, a me under constrcution. Running into this person was difficult, and dealing with the fall-out is tougher than I would have imagined.

After I parted my ways with this friend, my life forked out into an entirely new direction, one I never imagined I would have taken at the time. The path that took me to here - where I am now, and who I am now. It has been a diffirent path, and the temporary reunion served to it me square in the face, as right beside me sat the old me in the flesh in so many ways. It was very weird to see me again, and see where I went.

How, after 5 years and a million adventures, after jailings and overseas visits and mayoral campaigns and hotel trashings and moment of brilliance, misery and everything in between, I ended up at the exact same place it started for a brief moment is a mystery to me. How it will affect me is another question. I don't know.

What I do know is I will continue. If live serves you that, how can you come to any other conclusion but that your path is right, your path is just, and you are headed in the right direction? I feel I am, but I know now that that path ended right there, at the exact same place it began, and I am more than a little ready for this next one.

2 Comments:

Blogger Peter Anthony (Reid) said...

you're on the right path, buddy. i don't doubt it for a second. it always makes sense looking backwards...

5:40 PM

 
Blogger Daryl Makk said...

You have grown over the years as a comic and a human. Not that you were unlikeable at all prior but there seems to be an inner peace that is forming. One that you desired before but could not grasp. It is in your clutches now. I love the stuff you have been doing on stage as of late although fistfucking the queen will always be a personal fav!
I am curious as to who the "seminal" person from your past was but realize that it is for you only or you would have mentioned him by name...if he had a name....was it Satan??
:-)

7:22 PM

 

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