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Thursday, July 28, 2005

How Do You Quit Smoking?

This is a tough question. I'm not sure how it's done. I am aware that people have done it. Success has been reached in this field. I've smoked for a very long time now and I am ready to see what's on the other side of the plumes that I have for years surrounded myself in.

Smoking is such a sweet way to kill yourself slowly. A long-term suicide plan, as I see it. Many people have lived very good lives and smoked throughout them all. I don't envision that that would be my fate. I cannot see myself at 60, smoking away doing whatever it is that a 60 year old me would do. Whatever it was I'd be doing, it would be pretty wheezy, I guess. Not the future I select, should the choice be mine.

A common arguement on from the pro-cigarrete idealology is that, hey - fuck smoking, you know, a sattelite could crash into your room and you could die RIGHT NOW while you're writing this blog. I find that ideal philisophically quaint, but highly unpractical. Nothing that makes you coughy is a good idea, and tea is better for you, anyway.

The positives of smoking are many, it seems. It's a little reward. 'Oh, you just got off the bus. Good job. Have a smoke'. It's mysterious. 'Oh, she's looking at me. Better light up and hide behind the smoke'. It's a good way to compliment a special moment. 'What a beautiful baby you have. Can I smoke now?'. Cigarettes are like your travel buddies, your one constant in a foreign land and they are always seem to understand.

There are also made with a really addictive drug that's hard as fuck to shake. Why did they do that? It speaks volumes of human nature that not only was a product made for human consumption thats' chief attraction is the fact that it is an addictive and you will buy it because you NEED it, but the product kills you, too. Nice job, human beings. You suck, fuckers. Go cats.

Logically I have determined that the only way to defeat cigarettes is to quit them, as I have grown tired of the knowledge and sense of what losing to them may be like. I will miss them, and I am sure we may have some dirty rendezvous' under the stairs when nobody else is around. Seductresses.

I just got a figure out a way how.


In other news, Fionn MacCools is in a coma and likely dead, and with it, my weekly infusion of funds. I do not want the feeding tube re-installed.

No, really, I HAVE to quit smoking.


Blogger denise said...

Hmmmm, although you give a great arguement against smoking, your motivation appears to be financial, thus somewhat halfhearted (which ultimately means don't even think about bumming a smoke from me). Good luck and I'll see you in the capital of smoking next week!


5:40 AM

Blogger Daryl Makk said...

Ah, don't listen to Denise. She should know that comics always have the $$ problem. Good for you on quitting. Loved the line "'What a beautiful baby you have. Can I smoke now?'" LMAO

If you need help on staying off the evil weed (keep on with the good weed though) my advice is go where old smokers hang out. Like legions and bingo halls. When you see what years of puffing have done to their faces as they suck on their fags trying to light them it will be a Freedom 55 ad you don't want to live through! (listening Denise?? lol)

Now that you are not burning money on cigs you can buy me a beer for a change when we are in the same town.
Cheers man, maybe one day you will look younger than me!! Muwahahah
Love you like a BIG little brother

12:39 PM


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