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Tuesday, July 26, 2005

New Bio

Pics soon.


STATISTICS: Brett Martin
BORN: June 4, 1979
RAISED: Winnipeg, The Paris of Canada
OCCUPATION: Stand-Up Comedian
STARTED PERFORMING: At school, pretending to fit in. Around, say 19ish, I felt a strong pull guiding me towards Stand-Up. From that point on, I was here to save your planet
STYLE OF COMEDY: Pressed, wrinkle free repression expressed in dance and booze soaked freeform
ACCOLADES: Voted most likely to be Mayor of Calgary. Finished 13th. What do those people know?
BEST DESCRIPTION OF SHOW: The Unspoken Truth mixed with abstract hypothetical
CAREER ACHIEVEMENTS: I have never contracted VD, have never had a heroin addiction, have not (I think) impregnated an audience member AND complete obscurity in my own country
BEST AUDIENCE FIT: Knowledgeable, passionate, intoxicated, positive, open-minded nudists and women into one night stands
WORST AUDIENCE FIT: Uptight fans of musical comedy, magicians, easy music listeners and aristocrats
BEST REASON TO WATCH THE SHOW: Most economical way to watch a man deconstruct in public
BEST REASON TO AVOID THE SHOW: Watching a man deconstruct in public can be pretty sad, if not a violent thing
PERSONAL STATEMENT: Follow me into the desert, thirsty as you are, and I will show you the light and the way is not mine
MARITAL STATUS: Accepting resumes for the first former Mrs. Brett Martin
BEST TRAIT: Lack of shame, brutally honest, uh, brilliance
WORST TRAIT: Not a fan of those who don’t like me
HANG UPS, PET PEEVES, MORALITY CONFLICTS: Sleeping in feels soooo very good; People who won’t look me in the eyes; Wanting to rule the world without the responsibility


Blogger Daryl Makk said...

that is an awesome resume and brutally honest like your act.
My fav is the women into one night stands as your best audience. Who books that??

1:11 PM

Blogger Marcus C. Beaubier said...

Liar... you've had VD

11:38 AM


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