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Friday, August 26, 2005

Waves Along The Way

Wish I could write something now of interest or inisght, something of clear purpose and honesty, but I don't seem to think I can. This is when it's a good idea to at least try, though. Maybe this will be the most insightfully written piece I will ever produce. Maybe I'll just fill sentences with words that will make it sound complex and deep with a touch of the mystic for the sheer imagery of it all simply to make it look as if I actually do have something to say, said it, and did it all as harmoniously and poetic as ever.

I feel like I've splashed upon a new land. A mighty wave took me away, a wave that I was riding for weeks - in other ways, years - full of intense stimuli and experiences. I just enjoyed the wave and never thought about the possibility of land. Think I forgot about land, too. Now that I've crashed ashore, I realize the wave taught me all I need to know for this land, but I have to do it myself. The tide I was on rolled back to the sea. I wonder to myself how big this island is.

My head is blurry with confusion at the bounty of opportunity that sits just ahead. There are endless amounts of options and I am taken a little aback at it all. Feel as if there's a pressure to make some choices; not sure if there isn't justified reason to think that.

My world - as truly as yours is too, readers of this sentence - is in my hands. I have run out of places to hide it and now find myself staring at it as it rotates in my palm curious as to what I want from it. I have inclings but not yet the full knowledge and thus luxury of saying 'That's it'. I feel the time to choose is soon, and the moments ine between are begining to me to look as wasted time, understanding now the gift and potential of what life actually is.

The longest part of the marathon is always the end. The last lap the most draining and the final ten push-ups the most painful, so I expect this to be the case here as well. This should be draining. It's the revolution of a person - something every one is capapble of. To become the person inside you, the person that you want to be for no reason that becuase that's who you are. Marching to the beat of your drummer rather than the dull, vague pounding of a collective set of ideals. It's not simple, but every small vibration of your own beat you can pick up makes every thirsty night spent in the desert worth it. Then one day, you find the ocean that is you. At that point, you can be the one sending waves all over the world.

Guess I rode myself into this, so no anger and no regrets. Just a Cowboy hat, some militaristic clothing and a bag or two of everything I didn't throw away on the way here. What will I build? I should get this sand out of my eyes first.


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