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Saturday, December 31, 2005

Good-Bye To A Year And An Old Way Of Life

So 2005 is over in about 7 hours from where I am now. It's been one hell of a year, one that's gone might quickly, too. One year ago as the clock struck midnight, I was driving a rental car through Calgary after having dropped off my friend, who was too sick to stay out, at home. I was sober at midnight, the first time in years that happened (or at any other midnight, for that matter) and it struck me that perhaps something new was being foreshadowed. I couldn't have guessed all that happened in the year that we're putting to rest in a matter of hours, and I feel that not only is a year done, not just a new calender to put up, but truly this years' passing marks the end of an era. What will become can only be known as I walk forwards into the new future that awaits. In the year 2005, this, in no specific order, happened:

- My beloved Cat Patches was put down after years of loyal service. My unconditional love of my cat continues, and I miss her every day. You know what, though? She's still around. I can feel it. 2006 will be the first Patches free year in two decades and I'll be fine. It's what you had, not what you lost

- I moved to Montreal to be with a woman who has defied description. I always vowed I would never move anywhere for the sakes of a relationship....I am happy I broke my rule. You never know how things are going to go, but this IS going great, and I am happy and grateful for each day I get to share with her

- I left Toronto. Huge move. I finally chose being alive and a life of true consequence over a life of false idolizing and illuison. Real Brett over a career. I know that which is real and made a stand that mattered to me. Real life is the only important thing that matters and the supposed fall-out from such a move is beyond worth it. Bring it.

- I went to alot of places. In 2005 alone: Vancouver, Kamloops, Williams Lake, Cranbrook, Kelowna, MACLENNAN, Red Deer, Edmonton x2, Calgary x lots, Fariview, Grand Prairie, Regina, Saskatoon, Winnipeg (briefly and happily), Toronto, Ajax x2, Barrie x3, Windsor, London (the shitty one), Peterborough, Hamilton, Kitchener x 3, Kingston, Grand Rapids, New York City and lastly Montreal. I forgot lots of them, I imagine. I believe I travelled upwards of 50000 kms. I can't believe all I have seen, and my life's work will be to communicate what I see.

- I moved across the street in Toronto is mid-day after deciding to that morning. Good move! You should really only do that which you want to do, and that was the first real example of that. I encourage you all to do the same.

- Went to a Flames game. THANK GOD.

- I got my guitar back and started playing it again. I love it. Just a matter of time I until I make albums. Remember that.

- I read dozens of books. My brain knows alot more now than it did this time last year. I continue to pursue knowledge, and one day, I'll still have alot to learn but I'll have that much more to teach.

- I started writing THIS things. Somwhere, somehow, perhaps it made a diffirence.

It was a busy year. 2006 will be a much busier, much bigger year. My whole life, I've felt I was working towards something - something I couldn't quite see but knew was there. I think now I am getting close. I can feel it. This will be the year where there is so much more change. You read it here first - things will not be the same. And that's ok. That's what I want. I'm making no resolution, no vows of a better way, no promises to be a fuller, better man. Those are all bullshit and maybe if we vowed to those every day of our lives rather than just at calenders end, we'd make more realistic resolutions, like eat the foods we like and listen to the music we love.

2006 will be new. But, it's more where I am than what the calender says. My new direction has already started, and mark my words, things are going to happen. Happy New Year, unless you don't believe in Calenders or time, which I am aspiring to. So, maybe, Happy Today, Happy Midnight, and Happy Tomorrow, but mostly, Happy Moment.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where it all began....
Thursday, March 17, 2005
I have a blog. This will be it. I will write things. I will spill my heart. I will share my soul. I will tell of things I want changed. I will share the things I love. I will speak of that which I love, and that which I am learning to love. I will declare war. I will demand death. I will ask for bloodshed. I will repent. I will sin. I will feel remorse. I will feel no remorse. I will take myself too seriously and not seriously enough. I will share. I will bare. I will care, it may wear, you may stare, I won't care.
I want to love. I want to be vulnerable. I want to be open. I want to be seen. I want to be the simplest mystery. My book is open now, except for when it's closed. I am here.
I want evolution, revolution, an end to persecution, and a friend or two.
I want to smile. I want to laugh. I like when you laugh. Maybe I can help.
I like me. I admire italics. I dig bold.

So, hello. This will be fun.

Seems you've accomplished many of these. Glad to hear you are doing well in your life journey.


4:12 PM

Blogger Marcus C. Beaubier said...

Are we having a moment of creative sterility?

8:25 PM


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