I Was Told To Write

What is it, Tuesday? Yeah, Tuesday. A Tuesday in November in Montreal. I dropped off my guitar for repairs. I have to clean up the place. I don't have any shows tonight, but I do have 7 this weekend. My mind is blurry and foggy and I'm not always sure where I am, but I do know I am here.

Started drawing an painting yesterday. Felt good to exert my artisitic drive in a diffirent way. Funny how the mind works as I look at my painting. One part of me thinks 'pure genius'. The other, 'Child's play'. I'm sure it's, as always, somewhere in the middle, but it's nice to do and I'll probably do more tonight.

Jessica has been a positive influnece on me. That's her name. I have found myself far from the trouble I frequently found myself in. Now, the trouble was often-times a little fun, but it wore on me after awhile, and this new way is an adjustment but nice. Takes some time to get used to. What I need is some friends here. I just have one - a really good one, but I think I need more.

I've started to look at my calender and a funny feeling is coming over me. I recall in my waning days in Toronto, living in my communial poverty, declaring never again like this. Well, as I look at my calender of gigs for the rest of the year, the same feeling over-came me. Never again like this. Not sure how or what to change. The basics are still true. I love stand-up. I'm pretty good at it, too. But this mish-mash of shows that take me anywhere for nothing near a kings ransom to perform for the un-converted as a complete unknown has got to end. To accomplish that, I must find an entire new level from within. Fret not, the quest has already begun. I get my guitar back on Monday.

It's weird here, too, because you don't get much for Calgary Flames high-lights. Last night, Jess happend to turn it to one of the three english channels and found the Flames on TV. I raised my arms in celebration at both the fact that they won AND I saw it on Montreal TV. It's the little things in life sometimes....

All in all, I am figuring out things here and enjoying myself, too. My days and nights are filled with things I have never spent my time doing and it's good for me - I like it. My senses, however, tell me that I am not finished. I have not walked away, only in a new direction. In fact, I feel I have so, so, so much more to go, and this time here will likely serve to prepare me that much more.