The Weekend in Numbers

Venue: Calgary Yuk Yuks

Position: Master of Ceremonies

Shows: 7

Times onstage as MC: 30

Times more fatigued I am after this than normal: 10

Number of free drinks recieved: 2-4 (descrepency from bar tab)

Number of shows where I was me, as a man: 2.5

Number of shows I was an "MC" and told jokes rather than be me, a man: 4.5

Timed anger at self for mistake above normal rate: pi

Number of vistis to the gym: 1

Number of free newspapers recieved: 1

Number of small ceaser salads recieved: 1

Number of times I gave off the wrong impression, as seen in others eyes: many

Total bar tab at weeks end: $22

Number of pizza joint that delivers shit fucking pizza at 3:30 am in the indutrial part of Calgary: 403-531-3131

Number of times I will re-order from same venue: 0

Percenrtage likelihood that pizza chef was a fucking idiot: 83%

Games of chess played: 2

Games won: 0

Games ongoing because friend had to leave: 1

Games won by default: 1

Amount of sleep I need: lots