The Bad Words

I started swearing in Grade Three. Something of a prodigy of the profane. I knew they were bad. Saying them was like releasing little explosions; somebody was sure to have a problem with it. Nobody, for whatever reason, like to hear children swear. And, that was all I needed to continue doing it. I liked to write it on papers, on frosty windows on the school bus, and surely and most purely from my mouth. I was speaker of the forbidden and King of the wrong. It was a good year, grade three, but things wouldn't always remain that rosey in the swear industry.

Come Junior High, you could not say it, but adults were able direct it at you. Confusing. The shock was replaced by awe. Televison could not say it, but movies could, and any new kid that would was about to be a new friend. The Swearing Industry was evolving before my very eyes and I was determined to understrand what was next.

As I have grown up, I now hear profanity everywhere. Children, movies, television, songs, everywhere. I am ok with it, Truly, at the end of the day, it's just a sound that emits from the mouth that we've all been conditioned to attacth a neagtive emotion to. Nothing more. I'm sure Elk have swears, too. Pitches that the whole herd here's and think, "What a mouth on that guy. What an animal". If some Russian guy came up to me and just started swearing at me, I'd laugh. A whole lot of sounds I don't get.

I've learned the most of swearing from stand-up. I like to swear. Always have. Thought it obvious to bring to comedy. I swore with a frequency that was charming if you were endeared by those sorts of things. I have learned, however, that for the most part, the populace doesn't want it, and it isn't necessary. So, I have decided to swear less. I will still carry it in my sachet of weaponry, but will not use it as a first line of offense. It will still be there, though, waiting, and it will fuck you up.

So, a swear-lite existece for the next little while. I always figured Adulthood would suck....