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Monday, July 04, 2005

Bored On The Fourth Of July

I think I get it now. I'm bored. Bored as hell. Under-challenged in many ways - not that I'm looking for the going to get any rougher. I was laying in my bed today, listening to the crackling of the thunder from the storms that are rolling through here, and it hit me like a bolt of lightning - I'm so bored. Mind-numbingly bored. I've felt this way for a long, long time.

That which interests me, interests me alot. I would imgaine without the passions I do have that I would never leave bed. No point. Stand-Up is a great adventure and wonderful challenge. A new experience each time I do it. I can speak as I wish, write as I please and unleash that which needs to be freed. All wrapped up in a nice package of laughter, which I always love to hear and trigger. No doubt about it, stand-up is great.

I just don't feel too challenged. Please don't confuse that with my stating that things are easy. They are two diffirent things entirely. I am tired of being a middle act, I want to grow, be challenged, become a headliner, and then whatever is after that, I want it, too. The goal of financial stability bores me to tears. It is not the plateau I wish to reach. There is another direction to walk in - trouble is I have no frame of reference to it, no person to whom I can point to and say "Hey, they did it - that's what I want". It's all a guess to me and I have nothing but instinct telling me to get there. And I'm headed there now - just sometimes you have to hit a dull patch along the way to make sure you want it even more than when you went to bet the night before.

Oh, well. I will not only survive, I will thrive.


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