Clocks and Other Antiquated Notions

I feel evolved, man. Not sure how or why. I seem to have little evidence to offer that I am any diffirent than I ever have been, but things change - I've changed, and I feel saucy.

I'm working to stop relying on anything that humans have invented. I don't believe in human beings - we are far too stupid. In being given the gift of existence, we senselessly found ways to apply our own rules of limited power and strength to the world we live in. We never needed to. The earth don't need us and it certainly doesn't need our ideas to help it spin. Fuck us. We are primitive and lucky - nothing more.

Let me begin. The clock. This is a pointless invetion intended solely to give humans a false sensation of control over the actions of this planet. We attempted to name and label it's actions with numbers and names. Pointless. 4:00 does not exist. The Earths' location in relation to the sun, however, does. The time is an illusion of the mind. We are all set to our own timing device made from something larger than us, and we cannot help but follow it. Don't follow the clock - I promise you all you will ALWAYS be on time.

Religion. No longer necessary. Some of the simpler beings may require it to help them build a loose, ignorant structure of the way things appear, but we need not have it. Religion is old-school politics, a game played to control the populace and keep them in line. What better tactic than saying that if you disrespect THIS rule we have set before you, not only will we punish you, you will burn at God's hand. Sorry - nope. Not right. Fear is the not the best hand to use in advancement and order of beings. Peace is. Maybe a higher theological idea that offers the concept that we all exist together might help to eliminate the strife that these god-loving books often tend to create.

Money. If everything was free, we'd never have the need for money. Oil would be equal to sand, which is ironic, because it is. Money could no longer be a motivator for living - living would. With no money, perhaps one would taste their meal for what it is, rather than for how much it is. A value system would be built on the legs of quality and nothing more. Perception would be erased in the face of truth, and all would be free. In many ways.

I understand there would be fall-out, but I love chaos, because as I have learned, after chaos is peace, and as a species, we are far from it, and maybe a little change might stop the clocks and make us look at things for what they actually are and always have been.

It's Hot And Other Thoughts

Ugh. More hotness here. I am moist, and that is gross. Not furiously sweating, just a tinge of wet that borders my entire frame. I am not alone......Some karma happened today. Pretty nice. My horoscope actually called it, which was weird. Some old debts were re-paid withot my taking any action. I just smiled. Karma on a hot Saturday is like a cold drink of water......I have a show tonight. Guest spot at the club. It's also a friends last night here, ending 10 weeks of good company. Should be a little emotional and alot blurry......Watched some Football last night. Pretty fun. Nice to wacth that. I don't so much like TV, unless Football or Hockey is on. Yes, as it turns out after all these years, I'm still something of a jock......Think that's all. Show days are quiet now, and I am now a little more moist in this un-air conditioned room. Yuck, I'm outta here - Stay cool and dry.

Who Wants To Fight?

Arrghhhh.....I'm feeling something. Waves of energy flowing through me. Must be visible, people are diffirent now. My eyes even feel more intense. I can't see into them, but they feel alive. I sense I am staring holes through people now. Good. Now maybe they can see, no, FEEL what I'm talking about.

My step has purpose. My anger, focus. Seems almost healthy. I like what is happening. I am attaining another level. This Toronto experience is not like the others to date, but I don't hold my breathe. I breathe in, then out.

I will no longer hold myself back. Just can't. Sorry to those I will anger. Opinions are to be said, loud and proud, not kept quietly in a vault of self punishment. Say it, fuckers - you'll free yourself.

Time will tell, though. I've been here berore. Feeling good, the bottom falls out, I know, I know. But this time feels diffirent. I just finished Neil Youngs' Biography. One of the best reads I've had. An inspiring portrait of a man who went is own way and never looked back. People criticized, people got angry, but nobody stopped him. There was a very interesting chapter about Youngs' thoughts on Kurt Cobain, another legendary figure in my psyche. He basically said that Kurt never realized you can re-load. The tank ran out, but there was more fuel. If I can add something, maybe Cobain never knew that when you're in you late 40's, you can write "Rockin' In The Free World", that piss and vinegar turn to another substance, and you keep rolling with it. A hero for sure, but there's another tank - I know - I found it.

First Day Of Summer....

....and I'm hungover. I had my show at Fionn MacCools last night - probably the best one yet. I'm not really sure how, either, because 10 people isn't really a force to be reckoned with, but something just worked really well. I think I may have had something to do with it. I'm trying to lay out the attitude of casual and relaxed and humane from the comics perspective, and they are responsding. There will be no "Who are you? Who do you know?" in any of room I have any control in. Just good attitudes and funny. Even bad attitudes are allowed so long as it's funny. I am bringing something very un-Toronto right into the heart of it, and it's starting to be fun to watch.

Did I mention I drank? Oh...did I. I felt great last night and the booze happens to be supplied as part of the deal. God, it was such a weird weekend I needed dearly to flush it out with heavy amounts of booze and liberal doses of joints. Somehow, I was the last man standing last night, and I sat in my backyard staring at the sky trying to piece all this stuff that happening in my life together. I was a little angry when I awoke today and realized that part of the reason I stayed up was to note the summer solstice, and I was so tired and drunk I forgot to. I was outside, though, so I guess that's close enough. Summer Solstice - the Suns' Birthday.

So, it's summer now. Days are getting shorter now, too. Weird, eh? I have more work to do here. Feel good. And damn, do I need some Tylenol.

Calgary

I spent the weekend in Calgary. A stealth visit. I wanted at first fanfare and excitement, but after arriving, realized I wanted something quiet and peaceful - a time to reflect on where I am and where, oh where, I am going. It worked well. To those whom I neglected to see, I feel a tad of remorse, but I needed this. My batteries were low.

I went to my old comedy club and ran into one of the agents with whom I have a history. It usually was tense in my head with her, but it went well. She saw in me a growth that I thought only I had seen. It was very nice to hear, and for the first time, I felt as if the seeds I've sown are blooming. It appears all the difficulty and trauma of the last few years may indeed have had meaning, and now, more than ever, I feel the sensation to follow this path, as murky as it may seem.

I ran into an old figure in my life, a rather seminal one at that. One that I brushed aside in my psyche and chose not so much to forget, but to move past, to move forward in spite of some temporary diffulties.

It was 5 years ago and I was a diffirent man. Maybe even a boy, still. I was fresh in my endeavors, innocent in my intents, and more of a sober man than I am today. I was, although me, a younger me, a me under constrcution. Running into this person was difficult, and dealing with the fall-out is tougher than I would have imagined.

After I parted my ways with this friend, my life forked out into an entirely new direction, one I never imagined I would have taken at the time. The path that took me to here - where I am now, and who I am now. It has been a diffirent path, and the temporary reunion served to it me square in the face, as right beside me sat the old me in the flesh in so many ways. It was very weird to see me again, and see where I went.

How, after 5 years and a million adventures, after jailings and overseas visits and mayoral campaigns and hotel trashings and moment of brilliance, misery and everything in between, I ended up at the exact same place it started for a brief moment is a mystery to me. How it will affect me is another question. I don't know.

What I do know is I will continue. If live serves you that, how can you come to any other conclusion but that your path is right, your path is just, and you are headed in the right direction? I feel I am, but I know now that that path ended right there, at the exact same place it began, and I am more than a little ready for this next one.

An Exclusive

***** We here at thebrettmartin offices are happy to announce an exclusive, one-time only interview with Brett Martin. He's agreed to sit down and give us a few minutes of his waking hours to drip his guard, chat with us, and open up. Enjoy *****

WHERE ARE YOU NOW?

Hamilton, Ontario. It's the blue-collar capital of the world. I haven't seen much of i, but it seems ok. I'm having to crash at an old friends' house....

WHO?

....never interrupt me again. He's The Pick. He's a comic I started with in Calgary. Great guy. Was in the military. I think he even killed people. How can you not love a friend like that? We spent all night chatting about comedy theory and chicks.

IS IT TRUE THAT YOU HAVE KILLED PEOPLE?

No, that's a myth that I started to gain street respect. Didn't work. I have killed in a few comedy clubs - last night here, for example. I've never even stabbed anybody. I know, you don't have to say it, I'm a real pussy.

IS THERE A GOD?

Getting a little serious rather quickly, eh? Well, here's how I see it. I exist. So do you..

ME?

...what did I say? Fuck! No, ok, hold on. I exist, and I am not the only thing that exists. Since something other than me exists, that proves that I am not the whole, but a part. I am part of something bigger than me. It is endless and I didn't make it - soemthing did. I call that thing God. I don't think there's an old man in a chair, and I don't too much care, either. It's everywhere and I'm just living in it.

BOXERS OF BRIEFS?

Jesus. Boxers, I guess. You gotta brush up your interview skil..

IT'S JUST ONE OF THE QUESTIONS I AS...

...how do you like it when I interrupt, fuckface? Don't look at me this way. I'll cut you up. The heat makes me batty.

OK, THEN. WHAT'S NEXT FOR BRETT MARTIN?

Well, I think I'm going to stay in Canada for another year or two. I need to polish up. Depending on how good I am, I will either go back to England for a year or two for some more grooming, or head right for the beast, America. I want to do this, and I want to do this well. But, all said and done, there's a life to be lived, too, right? I want to settle down a bit at some point. The further I go, the more I realize my home is back west, somewhere between Vancouver Island and Calgary - or Winnipeg. That's where I want to end up. But, I'm not even half way to where I want to be, so it's too early to get too planned down. Who knows? Maybe I'll die after this sentence. I know this, I want to be happy and inspirational. Not too much to ask. Oh, yeah. One more thing.

WHAT?

I want an air conditioner. My sweat is sweating.

WELL, ONE MORE, THEN WE MUST GO..

good.

DON'T GET BICTHY WITH ME, YOUNG MAN. I HAVE KILLED MANY PEOPLE AND IT WILL BE NO SWEAT OFF MY SWEAT TO MAKE YOU NUMBER 43.

who did I hire? Pick?

YOU SHUT UP. HERE IS MY QUESTION. WORST INVENTION EVER MADE?

Well, that's a good question. I don't know. Wish I would have thought about that. If anybody out there has an idea on that, let me know. Hmmm. I guess maybe the clock. It puts life itself in a schedule that never existed until we made it. Nobody would be late if there was no clock. No time. We evolved into humans without time. Cats live famously and productively without time. It's an illusion of the mind that we created to give oursleves a false sensation of control. Fuck time.

SPEAKING OF TIME, WE MUST GO NOW. HAVE FUN BRETT, AND THANK YOU FOR SITTING DOWN WITH US

(Secretary) He already left. Something about too hot to listen to bullshit.

OK, THEN. WHAT A TREAT HE IS TO WORK WITH. ANYWAYS, MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.

The Heat

Nobody told me that Toronto would be this hot. This is insane. It's early June and the forecast reads 30 degrees all week long. For my American friends, I think that's around 90 Patriot temprature points. Any math assholes who are out there, please feel free to correct me.

The Heat makes you tired and sweaty and short-tempered. I already don't want to write this blog, but I'm a writer, dammit, and this is what I have to do. The heat makes me want to sleep and nap and drink cold fluids and hide in an Air Conditioned establishment that I'm not allowed in because Air Conditioning is a class system just like everything else and the class I am in is humid and sweaty and thus I must watch the rich be cool while I swelter and plot. Swelter and plot - good name for a band. I should go home and pick up my guitar.

Not too much on the go today. Just getting things done that won't get done unless I do them. All my friends are out of town, so that's weird. Just me and my house-mates, and that's fun as it is. Due to the fact that I live with these people and they have computers and they always ask where too find stuff on me, I'll back down on my full opinions. But, one more day of 30 degree heat and I'm snapping.

Not the most entertaining piece I've written, but I'm hot and tired and surprised I actually got out and did this, so good for me.

No lesson today. No moral. No higher meaning and no epiphane. Not everyday is Christmas, and days like this prove it, and if it was, I'd ask Santa for some energy and a slurpee.

Every Thornley Has A Rose

One of my favorite bands going is Oasis. Just awesome. I guess I'm an ok writer, and I have purposely chosen to use the word awesome. Just awesome. I like them that much. The kind of musiic that hits me somewhere that alot of other things just sorta glaze over. Real music for the soul. I have always wanted to see them live, and just the other day, while at a show, a friend and I were given free tickets to a 'Secret' Molson Canadian Rocks party. Commercials everywhere here have been promoting the fact that Oasis is coming here, and they are doing a Molson Candian Rocks event. I was shaking with excitement as I walked up. 'My God, I might see Oasis for free tonight'. What a feeling.

We get in, and are given free drink tickets. 'My God, I might see Oasis and get drunk tonight for free'. What a thought! There was a buzz and rumors flying everywhere about who it might be. One even floated that it might be the The Rolling Stones. I tried starting one that Engelbert Humperdink might show, but that never floated. Show time was nearing and the beer was working. Things were awesome. Just awesome.

My friend talked up a girl who informed him that she knew. She knew the secret band. When I heard that, I froze. 'My God, she will confirm that Oasis is here in this club of 500 people. I love her.' As it turned out, it was not Oasis, but someone else. A Canadian band. 'My God, it's not Oasis - and they're from Canada. This sucks. I'm drinking'.

The band was Thornley, she said. Former front-man from Big Wreck, working with his new outfit. I didn't mind Big Wreck, they were ok, some pretty memorable tunes, and the new Thornley song has dangerous levels of rock to it. I was sad, though. The stars alligned to disappoint, I felt. I drank my free beers with a diffirent energy; a sad, grumpy one.

I still held out hope that the mean girl was wrong. She wasn't, and Thornley opened up and ripped it up. Very good show. Good, solid rock and roll. Not Oasis, but good. I enjoyed my free beers and rock and roll alot.

I also learned something else. Expectations can sometimes ruin things. Thornley as Thornley is awesome, too. The way to be disappointed is to expect something to be diffirent from what it actually is. Even Thornley took a crack at himself for not being Oasis. But he shouldn't have - they were great. Life can give you so much, but always leave you wanting more. Take you so tantalizingly close to your goal, and leave you a yard short, laughing at you with your free beers and sad face. Life can be a letdown sometimes, but there is nothing else I'd rather do, and the lesson today is every Thornley has a rose.

Some, and maybe the, Truth

I am tired of not doing longer sets. I am tired of my contemporaries. I am tired of being day-to-day with the money. I want to do more. I want to think less. I need a muse. I need some help, maybe even to just point out what is wrong.

I need more time on these fuckign computers. I need less people talking in the background. I need to thank people for reading nay of this.

I need to tell funnier jokes. I need have something more to say. I want to be great.

I respect what John Lennon, Neil Young and Bob Dylan are all about. I want to be that able to communicate myself. I also want spell check back for this blog of mine.

I don't think brief sentences make a great novel, or even a stellar read.

I can feel things happening, but Lord if I know what they are.....

I'm happy to express.

Thoughts, Opinions, Feelings and Nonsense

- Pressure is difficult to work in but produces great results. And stress. And pain. And, at times, brilliance.
- The Moon wasn't always there. Might take off someday.
- Highways should have a 'No Speed Limit Lane' paid for by drivers who feel the need for speed.
- According to folklore, tie's are incestuos. Only Rednecks wear suits.
- If you cut a Goats' Head off, you'd have a goat head and some explaining to do.
- I don't have a savings account, so I just lend money to alot of people.
- The best way to deal with conflict is to make it worse.
- I miss having a cat.
- I'm not a big fan of time. Tends to make me late alot. If we never invented clocks, I'd always be early.
- You couldn't touch Canada if you tried too.
- I am from the same city as Neil Young, The Guess Who and Kern Hill Furniture Co-Op, 843 Main Sreet.
- This is costing me $1.15 to write. I am losing money to create things.
- Toronto doesn't have smog, it has steam rising from the shit that's coming out of everybody's mouth.
- I wish I had an air conditioner. Feel free to send money.
- Sometimes writing comes very difficultly to me.
- I saw two shooting stars last week in the same night. The first one I saw, I couldn't think of anything, so I asked for a second one. When the second one came, I wished that I would have thought of something the when the first one came by. You always get what you want.
- I am trying to launch the word 'Conversating' into the world. It's a verb for Conversation. It's conversation in action from the perspective of the first person when recalling events to another. 'I was conversating with my friends last night about the new, newest word'. Sign the petition.
- I have to go, my time has run out here. Plus, there is a fly on my screen. How quiant.

Because Everyone Else Is

I'm getting a little tired of my job. Not the live action part of it, but all the rest. In getting into my line of work, I never imagined that the actual performance part would weigh so little in the day-to-day operations of this industry. I guess in the bigger picture, I am in "Show Business", and I am noticing now the sad lack of Show or Business in it. It is as gossipy as any other industry, an irony in the sense that this, above any other, likes to hold itself in the highest of regards and feels it to be the coolest of the cool. I wonder how cool mechnaics gabbing about car engines seems to the outider? Likely lame. Well, we are all mechanics. This behaviour exist in many places, even the palacial domains of entertainment.

I am no better, I should say. I am a part of it, too. Look at this manifesto. I'm not sure if this is dripping irony or hypocrisy, but drenched in truth it is. I like to know what's going on. I like to hear the stories. I do. It's part of the fun. However, at the end of the day, it's just stories, and the only reason I do what I do is because I enjoy what I do so much, and nothing much else matters in that context. I hope everybody enjoys it, too.

So, I don't consider myself anymore a voice of reason that the rest. Who knows how one defines correct beahviour anymore. I have learned this: Ones' focus in ones' own direction is damn difficult to avert, and the time has come to fix my eyes elsewhere.

26 Saturday

Perhaps a tad premature, but I may have made it to 26 without dying first. A big thing for me - I had me pegged to go early. Granted, it's still Thursday, and June 4th is a long way away, still.

Things are good here as I wrap up 25. Just did a big show at Fionn MacCools last night. Actually packed and felt like a club show. After than, we headed down to Spirits for the 9th anniversary party and I enjoyed myself. I'm starting to be more comfortable here and finding peace in my desire to be quiet.

My house should be exciting this weekend. One of of housemates birthday is on Sunday, so we're going to have a Barbeque and invite some friends in the area. Should be fun. Never had something like this before. Lots of new people to meet and lots of food to eat. I will be more stately, too, in my new found old age - should I survive until Sunday.

So, all good here. Summer is here now, it is hot, and I am driven. Still no riches, but the now is good and the then will be great.